Eight months have come and gone, and Indigo has grown leaps and bounds since I was here last. He’s an expert crawler and constantly on the move, yet it feels like only yesterday I held him in my arms for the first time. I wish there was a way to bottle up these years and relive select moments again and again. For now, I’m doing my best to be present with my children and savor their childhood as much as I can.
This postpartum has been surprisingly easy despite having more responsibilities. Our family’s transition from one to two has been quite smooth, though not entirely seamless. I spent the first six weeks or so in bed with my newborn, which made quality one on one time with my big girl hard to come by. At four, she didn’t always understand why I needed to rest or why I couldn’t just hand Indigo over to Papá.
There were tantrums, tears, and lots of big feelings but happiness and calm outweighed all that. We worked through the shakey moments with conversations, cuddles, and patience, and everyone is better for it. Being able to talk to my daughter about her emotions and cry together made me feel really grateful for the four year gap. Her independence, willingness to sleep in her own bed, and excitement for school made growing our family less stressful in certain aspects.
During my pregnancy, I worried about how to wean Naia and transition her to her own bed, but everything fell into place on its own. I experienced breastfeeding aversion and extreme nipple sensitivity even before I missed my period. Naia could tell something was off and asked to nurse less and less until she stopped asking altogether. Our last nursing session was a couple weeks before her brother’s arrival, and that was that.
Changing beds took a little longer. We bought hers the summer we moved into our new apartment, but after the novelty wore off she relegated it to play. When Indigo was born, I couldn’t relax at night thinking she might hit or kick him in her sleep, but I didn’t want to force her out of our bed. It was important to me that she feel welcome and not displaced by the new baby. We spoke positively about her bed but never pushed. On the eve of her first day of PreK, she decided it was the right time and she’s slept there ever since. Indigo was four months at the time.
In hindsight, I wish I had worried less about those things, but such is life. Even though two is way less scary than I imagined, it’s also harder in some ways too. At times, I feel stretched thin and torn between two loves wishing I had more arms and time to spare. Parenting is the toughest most demanding job I’ve ever had, but I’m grateful to be here.
A Crunchy Start 